My bra size is a 40G and i’ll be the first to tell you that being this busty is no cake walk. So, I decided to pull together a list based on my own experiences and have a little fun with some of the things that myself and other busty women go through.
You may not be able to relate to all of them, but if you’re a busty lady, chances are, there are quite a few things on this list that you can identify with. Enjoy 🙂
1. Everyone is entirely too comfortable asking you what size bra you wear
2. Speaking of bras, shopping for them is always avoided unless absolutely necessary
4. You have to try extra hard to look professional, so that you don’t look “too sexy”
5. Yet, somehow, you still end up looking “too sexy”
6. There are just no options on this planet for a suitable button up blouse without “the boob gap”
7. You simply exempt yourself from the Jumping Jacks portion of exercise class
8. You have to pile on everything you own to exercise efficiently without the girls going everywhere.
9. You’ve learned to accept “side boob” as an inevitable part of your life.
10. Built-in-bras and bra inserts are just not okay
11. You have to know your measurements when even remotely considering online shopping
12. Gravity refuses to let you wear a strapless bra
13. You have to give yourself a mental pep talk before going bathing suit shopping
14. It’s just easier to stuff the essentials in your bra
15. There’s some invisible force that always draws whatever you’re eating to your chest
16. You just accept the fact that the fitting ladies at bra stores will never get it right
17. You can’t just lay down on your stomach to go to bed. You have to lay down, adjust the boobs, lay down again, adjust the boobs, lay down again, wait, wait, then adjust the boobs again before going to sleep
18. You have to randomly adjust yourself throughout the day
19. Summer means two things: Sun and Boob Sweat
20. There is no freedom like not wearing a bra!
21.Unfortunately, big boobs also means only being braless at home
22. Sometimes your bra strap randomly decides to unclip itself
23. When in large groups or crowds – they can and will be bumped and touched
24. Graphic tees are almost always stretched beyond recognition
25. There is no bigger let down than a shirt that gives you uniboob
26. You don’t even attempt to button a blazer
27. You’re frequently asked these 3 questions:
1. Are they Real?
2. Do they hurt your back?
3. Have you ever thought about a reduction?
28. Nothing you wear that’s strapless EVER stays in place
29. When people see one of your bras for the first time, they just awkwardly stare at it in shock
30. As much as you love oversized shirts, they all make you look pregnant
31. People have sincerely told you, “You know you have really big boobs!” because, obviously, you had no idea before that
32. When you talk about breast reductions, people stare at you with their eyebrows furrowed as if you’re being ungrateful
33. You’ve bought something that was “just too cute” that you KNEW your boobs wouldn’t take and still cursed the world when you were proved right
34. You know all too well that different bra stores don’t sell the same sizes
35. You have at least one big boobed gal pal that shares your pain
36. Your boyfriend still can’t figure out how to unhook your bra.
37. Your bras don’t get thrown into the hamper after one use, or two, or sometimes three – Just not practical
38. This happens
39. No matter what you do, it just seems like they’ll never stop growing
40. But all in all, you love em’ and you’re proud to be busty!
from Manchester, UK. Poling for a year(had her poleversary just last month!)
10 Random Facts
1. I met Princess Diana when I was 5 and cried because my Mum forgot to give me flowers to give to her. The other kids’ Mum’s remembered. I was so angry.
2. My first pole-related injury was a broken toe months ago. To this day it’s still so painful and still hasn’t fully healed. I cried when it happened but no tears came out. The real tears came when the DR told me I had to stay off it for a least 2 weeks and it would take 4-6 weeks to heal, which meant no pole dancing. Some days after work I’d hug my pole for comfort, after around 4 days I tried to spin. It was then I realized I was addicted which ended with me having to take away the temptation by taking my pole down for a few weeks.
3. My Mum told me when she was pregnant with me I’d be still for ages and she’d get worried. Until she played music that is, and I’d swish around in her stomach like crazy. She said I’d dance to absolutely anything.
4. When I bought my 2nd pair of pleasers, I slept in them.
5. I have a beautiful black cat named Salem, he’s adorable. He’s also scared of Pleasers.
6. If someone makes eye contact with me, I ALWAYS smile. If they give me a bad look, I continue to smile.
7. Everyday for the past year I take breaks at work and go into the toilet with a full-length mirror and I dance for a few minutes.
8. My real job is working as an Engineering and Defence Recruitment Researcher which I love!! I am the only female in my office so from time to time (all the time) I bore my boys with pole-talk. I get help from them on which shoes/outfits to buy. They pretty much see me as one of the guys because of my potty mouth and general vulgarity.
9. If people could describe me using three words, they’d probably choose crazy, insane and delirious.
10. I suffered from depression for nearly 3 years probably longer on and off. I’ve been free from the illness for 2 years. It has changed my outlook on life so now I live each day as I was meant to. Filled with happiness, love and laughter.
1. How did I get Started?
I’ve always wanted to pole dance but had heard so many stories of curvier girls being turned away from classes because the poles can only take a certain weight that I temporarily gave up on the idea of finding a class for ‘someone like me.’ Dancing is a HUGE passion of mine and whether I’m messing around or on a night out, it gives me the greatest feeling ever so not wanting to give up without a real fight a while later I decided to a search for classes in my area. I sent an email to the instructor who was really nice and reassured me that they’d never turn away or discriminate against someone because of their size, which was so nice to hear. I managed to coax my workmate into coming with me and since that day pole dancing has stuck and I love it.
2. My Advice to other curvy polers who may be discouraged
Don’t give up! There might be things you think are physically impossible because you have a little more to love, this isn’t true. I pole everyday and everyday I shock myself. I was adamant I couldn’t lay back, I was convinced that because I am so heavy chested I’d weigh myself down and end up injured again. I was so scared and didn’t trust myself enough to go all the way back. After poling for nearly a year I set myself a 10 day challenge in which I HAD to get my lay back and invert. I came home after a really trying day at work, warmed up and put my favourite song on, I also managed to get my lay back on the first try. Still no invert but it’s coming. Just don’t give up, keep pushing, keep trying, get support and condition.
Surround yourself with like-minded people. For me this is the girls at my pole class, my instructors and the entire Instagram/Twitter/Facebook community. Everybody is so friendly, so interact, compliment, inspire and be inspired.
Ignore the haters/bullies – This is easier said than done because I understand more than anything how one negative comment is enough to put you off. If this is something you love and are passionate about. Don’t let them and don’t retaliate. Use it as fuel to nail that move you’ve been working on and show them how great you are!
NEVER compare yourself – Comparing myself to others very-near ruined my pole journey. I’d watch dancers on YouTube and sometimes think there’s no point, none of my moves look how they’re supposed to. It’s frustrating and it’s a waste of time, you are you and we are different. Make your different work for you and people will love you for it. More to the point you’ll love yourself for it. Also never compare you journey to somebody else’s. I’ve had days where I’ve been so hard on myself because somebody who has been poling for the same amount (or less) time as me and is clearly better than me. It’s hard especially if you’re a competitive person. I turned pole dance into a competition against myself. Set your own goals and even better, ask questions. Ask how they got so good or if they have any tips for you. Don’t let it get you down.
Lastly, be yourself. Find your pole niche and explore others, combine styles do whatever you want. I feel like I’ve dabbled in a few different styles of pole dance. Tricks aren’t really for me and although I still try and I’m still nailing some I like to focus my attention on the more exotic side of things because dance and music is what I love. It makes me happy and it’s a style that suits me. Whatever works for you. Do it!
3. My Best and Worst Pole Experiences
My worst experience in pole dancing has to be the period of time I felt so awkward and uncomfortable at classes. This was nobody’s fault but my own. My friend had moved away to Australia so I’d end up going to classes alone, which was fine to begin with. All of a sudden, out of nowhere I began feeling so self-conscious and found myself in a funk. I ended up giving up classes for a few months which took away the support I needed (I wasn’t on instagram back then.) Luckily for me I had a pole at home and just needed to take the time alone in my own comfort zone to build my confidence back up. I ended up back at class feeling revived and better than ever.
My best experience was just that. Working hard on myself to get that confidence back and not giving up. My confidence is growing with each session. Not only do I trust myself enough to try out new things, I am able to post my videos and images freely on instagram for all to see. I don’t care that I have a tummy or that I’m not as slim as some, I don’t even see that when I dance, I just see someone who got their groove back and wants to inspire others to do the same, whether it’s in pole dance or not.
4. About Pole Stereotypes
Curvy girls can’t pole – Yes we can.
Black girls don’t/shouldn’t pole – Yes we do, yes we should.
All pole dancers are strippers – No we aren’t! So what if we are? Who even cares? Poledance is an art for some, a job that pays the rent for others, an exercise and a sport for the rest.
You need to have exceptional Upper body strength – Lies. I believed this for so long. I have zero upper body strength. No wait, I HAD zero upper body strength. Now I’m sat here looking like Terry Crews, lifting my own body weight with front row seats to my own gun show. Okay, okay I exaggerated, I’m not as muscly as Terry. I have however increased my upper body strength massively by pole dancing and by working out in the gym when I’m not on my pole.
Meet Kimmi Leahy
from NSW, Australia. Started Pole in 2010.
5 Random facts
I have 2 young sons (5 yrs. & 1 yr.)
Favourite Disney movie is The Little Mermaid
I have 11 Tattoos
Crunchy peanut butter is the best!
Love reading True Crime books
1. Why Do You Pole Dance?
It’s fun! And there’s always something new to learn.
2. How did you get started?
A few months after having our 1st bub, hubby knew I wanted to try it so he booked me into classes so that I could have some “me time” every week. Best husband ever!
3. Any advice to other curvy polers who may be discouraged?
Try not to compare yourself to other polers. Focus on what you can do, not what everyone else can do.
4. What was your proudest pole moment?
The first time I managed to climb to the top of the pole, after months off to recover from having a bub via c-section.
5. Do you do anything specific that keeps you motivated?
[Setting goals] I’m currently working on getting my middle splits by my 30th bday.
“The pole community is amazing. I have met so many beautiful people because of pole. G-Force Pole and Fitness has become my second home & my pole family is one of the best things in my life!” -Kimmi Leahy
Venturing into the Pole World will literally flip your “reality” upside down in the most insanely unique of ways.
Anyone who pole dances will tell you that we have, in some aspects, a creative (and warped) view of the world. It really shows in the way that we look at some “average” everyday things.
I didn’t even realize it until I was talking to my honey about my idea for this blog post and he was shocked with some of the things I was mentioning, so I figured I’d share it with the rest of the world. Here’s your open invitation into the mind of a pole dancer (insert cynical laugh here) ;p
1. The world sees: A stop sign
A Pole Dancer sees: An aluminum 40″ pole deep rooted in the ground with enough stability to spin and maybe even invert on! #StreetPole!
2. The world sees: A bottle of Spray Alcohol
A pole dancer sees: A two-fer! Pole cleaner AND a super cheap and effective Pole Grip!
3. The world sees: Shaving Cream
A Pole Dancer Sees: POLE GRIP (For a brass pole)! We Put a little in our palm, pat it all over the pole and viola! Sticky for gripping! I live by barbasol in pole class. ESPECIALLY because I have sauna hands (they sweat profusely – it’s really ridiculous how much they sweat).
4. The world sees: Lotion
A pole dancer sees: His/Her WORST nightmare! Lotion is to Pole Dancing as Siths are to Jedis (Shameless Star Wars reference). I mean, really. It’s hell to get off so we can forget putting it on if we plan to pole dance within a 16 hour time frame. We sacrifice smelling like Hawaii (One of my FAVORITE Bath and Body works lotions) to live a happily ashy existence in the name of Pole. Sounds crazy, right? Don’t knock it til’ you try it! It’s worth it!
5. The world sees: Deodorant
Pole Dancer Sees: POLE GRIP! Now, I’ve never tried Mitchum and I hear there’s only ONE specific container of Mitchum Deodorant that works as pole grip but babyyyy, the ladies at my studio who use it, swear by it! Works just like shaving cream.
6. The world sees: A children’s playground/ jungle gym
Pole dancer sees: A pole dancer’s paradise! So many bars and poles to climb, flip and spin on! Not to mention all of those things are available to use for strength training (The painfully necessary evil for anyone wishing to excel in pole – Just like the vegetables your parents made you eat when you were a kid)
7. The world sees: Really bad bruises
A pole dancer sees: POLE KISSES! i.e. Metals of honor that many, if not most, pole dancers experience when pole-ing. Yeah, they aren’t the sexiest thing in the world, but we’re damn proud of em’ in all of their grotesque glory.
8. The world sees: “Stripper Shoes”
Pole Dancer sees: Super sexy exercise stilettos!
9. The world sees: A one-piece bathing suit
Pole Dancer sees: A perfect pole costume! Sides exposed for gripping, low neckline (because it’s sexy) and gold trim (…….because it’s gold trim. Who doesn’t love a little sparkle)
10. The world sees: Underwear
Pole dancer sees: Pole shorts! Pole dancers do NOT consider boy shorts a form of underwear. They are pole shorts. So if you see a pole dancer out at the bar and she hops on the pole and you see her “underwear”, just know, that’s not “underwear”. she just wore her pole shorts “just in case” there was a pole at the bar. 🙂
Hope this gives you guys some interesting insight. If you’re a pole dancer, feel free to chime in on the conversation in the comments!
My workout schedule for this week is below. If you’re in the Baltimore, MD, USA area, feel free to join in! 🙂 Also, for those who want to participate in other areas, states, countries, you can email me your schedule and i’ll post it on the blog for other ladies who want to meet up with you.
Feel free to also submit workout tips, recipes, how-to tutorials for tricks, meal plans, meet up schedules, etc. to firstname.lastname@example.org with a photo of yourself (So everyone can see who submitted it).
Let’s all get fit for the summer together! 🙂
1. DO NOT WEAR LOTION!
and if you can, just avoid it the entire day. I know you want your arms and legs to be glistening while you learn all of your sexy pole moves, but trust me, it’s a bad idea. You need every part of your body to do this type of workout and you can’t get a grip if you’re slippery. No worries though love, EVERYONE in class will be ashy right along with you and once you get used to going, you won’t even notice.
2. Yes, the pole WILL support your body weight.
Trust me when I say, you, me and every other curvy lady that attempted pole for the first time had a similar concern, but i’m here to save you the worry and let you know that the pole WILL support your body weight whether you’re 100 pounds or 300 pounds – you’ll be FINE. So no need to tread lightly in your first class, just hop on that sucker and spin away!
3. Everyone in class is 90% likely to be just as nervous as you.
When you go to your first class, there’s a huge likelihood that the majority of women there with you are either brand new to pole too, or just started. What does that mean? THEY’RE ALL NERVOUS! You are not alone honey bee. Everyone has the same fears of looking silly or not being able to catch on or needing extra help. Once you get there and start class, the nerves will soon fade and everyone just starts having a good time.
4. Speaking of nerves, I know it’s tempting, but PLEASE don’t stand in the far, back, abysmal black hole right-hand corner of the class so “No one can see” you.
Again, I know you’re going to be nervous, but it’s beneficial to you to stand closer to the front near the instructor so that you can actually see what is going on. Form is important and with it being your first class, the form for the basic moves are foundation for the more difficult levels. You’ll also catch on better if you have a clear view of your instructor.
5. It’s best to (in my opinion) wear shorter shorts and a relatively fitted top.
We all have stretch marks, cellulite and back rolls, so any apprehensions you may have about short shorts or fitted tops, ball them up, toss them out of the window and join this club! I’m not expecting you to be 100% comfortable right away, for some people the “Pole World” is like entering another dimension where curvier women are ACTUALLY OKAY with their bodies and wear boy shorts and sports bras to class with as much confidence as they wear jeans and a tee. It’s different, I get it, but I don’t want you to get hung up on the things like stretch marks and cellulite, because we ALL have em’. Shorts help you grip the pole because you have more leg and thigh exposed and fitted tops allow you to actually see the way your body is moving, which can help you approve or adjust form – plus, it’s sexier!
6. Bring a friend to help ease the tension of going alone, but ONLY if that friend is genuinely interested in going. No Debby Downers!
Bringing a friend can definitely help you ease up on the nerves, as you’ll have a partner in crime, in the same boat as you that you can at least talk to in class. I had a friend my first time and we had a riot! Now, what you DON’T want to do, is bring someone just for the sake of bringing someone because that Debby Downer could screw up your entire experience. If she is going because you want her to go, but she genuinely has no interest, her disinterest could reflect in her energy and bring you down too. So only take someone that is equally as excited to try it.
7. Research the studio BEFORE going there.
I have heard genuine horror stories about first pole experiences. Non-attentive instructors, rude and catty members, unclean studios, the list goes on. I recommend checking the Facebook and Yelp pages of your studio before going and reading the reviews. I also recommend going to the studio’s website to look up the instructors. My pole studio has a broad range of body types, ethnic groups, and backgrounds in terms of instructors, so that was a huge reason why I chose it.
8. Your pole journey is your own, so move at the pace that is comfortable for you.
Some women can master a move on the first, second or third try. Others, can master it on the 10th try. In the end though, both women have still mastered the move, regardless of the time spent to get there. Your pole journey belongs to you. So, if you know that it takes you extra time to learn a dance move, then try to be content with the fact that it may take you some time to learn a pole move. You WILL get there though if you keep at it. So, while in class, don’t define your skill set based on the women around you, be ok with your own. It’s the very BEST method to avoid getting discouraged.
9. You WILL sweat!
As sexy, fun and exciting pole fitness is and as much as it doesn’t FEEL like a workout, IT IS ONE. One that WILL make you sweat honey! So, be prepared.
10. You will feel pain in strange places, trust me, it’s normal.
Your first class won’t be as intense as your higher levels, but for you to be just starting out, you’re going to be working muscles you may have never worked before. You may feel pain in your fingers and yes, I do mean your actual fingers, which comes from gripping the pole. You could also feel pain in your shoulders, back, upper thighs, wrists and forearms. It’s normal and it fades after a while.
11. You may get pole kisses (depending on what your studio covers in level one classes).
Some studios teach spins that involve taking both feet off of the ground in level one (mind does not), if this is the case, depending on what you’re doing, you could get a few minor bruises, no worries, we all get them. We just call them pole kisses.
12. If you have any pre-existing conditions or injuries, be sure to inform your instructor.
If you have sustained any injuries in the past, it is very important that you inform your instructor so that you don’t (couldn’t find a decent way to say this) mess yourself up. The last thing you want to do is injure an injury. To be on the safe side, you may also want to get permission from a doctor.
13. YOU ARE SEXY!
Whether you think it or not, I know it! I’m telling you right now you’re sexy. So don’t over think it or discourage yourself with the whole “I don’t know how to be sexy”. I’m telling you now that you don’t have to know how to be sexy, because you already are.
14. If you’re doing pole fitness to lose weight, you WILL lose weight, but don’t expect it to happen in a day.
Just like with any workout, if you keep at it and stay dedicated, you will lose weight. However, don’t think that after your first class you can rush home, measure your waist and see inches gone instantaneously. It does take time. So, don’t think about how much weight you want to lose. Instead, set goals for pole moves you want to achieve. Naturally, the more you keep at it and the more you achieve your goals, the more weight you will lose without even thinking about it.
15. Some people are not going to “approve” and THAT IS OKAY!
Whether we like it or not, pole is still very taboo. Some people don’t “approve”. Now, I’ve NEVER heard a substantial reason for disapproval, yet people insist on frowning upon it and they are entitled to do so if that’s how they feel. However, I’m here to let you know that IT IS OKAY! Not everyone is going to like the fact that you do an “unconventional” workout. Some people will go so far as to associate your WORKOUT with exotic dancing, while being completely aware that you are NOT dancing in a strip club, while removing your clothing, for money. I just had to put that out there so those people realize how silly they sound.
Back on topic, Pole Fitness will give you so many positives. A healthier mind, body and spirit, unparalleled confidence, not to mention it’s a great freaking time! You will inspire other people to join and motivate your peers that are doing it with you, which will out shadow all of the negatives. Haters are just secret fans anyway, so pay the negatively no mind and do you boo!
Good Luck and Happy Poling Babes!
Feel free to share your first pole class experiences and/or additional tips for beginners in the comments below.
Disclaimer: Photos from Google Images. CGP does not own them.
Where do you even begin with someone like Roz the Diva? She’s a Fierce and Sexy Pole Dancer, a Motivational Fitness Trainer, a Stunt Woman having worked alongside the famous Adam Sandler and the founder of Dangerous Curves, the first national pole dancing competition series to exclusively highlight plus size dancers.
Despite all of her achievements she has an amazingly sweet and infectious personality. She’s a humble , absolutely hilarious and supportive person who’s always willing to extend herself to help both her students and her peers.
Meet Roz “The Diva” Mays
6 Random facts
Pancakes rule the world
I used to fence in 8th and 9th grade
I had a nightlight until I was 12
I had my undergrad degree in Business
My biggest pole goal is to recreate the finale of Sister Act II. I’m playing Sister Mary Clarence.
Statement jewelry makes my world go ’round.
1. What was your proudest pole moment?
Watching my first generation of students climb the pole damn near brought me to tears. Those first eight girls had never really worked out before, much less pole danced, so everything was a struggle. I drilled them for weeks and weeks on the basics; I swore that they’d do some cool stuff one day, even if they couldn’t lift both feet off the ground now. Then one day, I heard one of my girls screaming “Roz looooook!!!” I turned around and she was waiving to me from 13′ in the air. I lost my mind in pride.
2. Any pole stereotypes you want to address?
Contrary to what close minded people think, I’m not a fat black slutty stripper.
3. What was your best pole experience?
My best pole experience was winning Polesque in May 2011. Polesque was the perfect competition for me because it wasn’t a measure of strength, but of heart. I haven’t really competed since then, but I don’t care. To this day, nothing has replaced the roar of the crowd chanting “DIVA! DIVA! DIVA!”
4. Any advice to other curvy polers who may be discouraged?
To everyone who thinks they are too heavy to pole, KEEP POLING. Our road to pole glory is slower, more frustrating and longer than most. Those who flourish don’t waste too much time on pessimism; they take sledgehammers and knock haters down.
Stay Connected with The Diva
Instagram and Twitter: @RozTheDiva